


Dance, Dance

by WhatsYourNameMan



Series: It’s not Sunset Cis either [8]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caleb uses dance as a punishment, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sunset Trans isn’t really relevant but it’s important to me, Trans Character, Trauma, Violence tagged bc Caleb is abusive to his dancers but it’s not super graphic, Willie-centric, character death tagged bc Willie’s real sad about how he died, not gonna lie this ended up darker and sadder than I thought it was going to, these boys have A Lot of it, trans!Reggie, trans!alex, trans!luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28060308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsYourNameMan/pseuds/WhatsYourNameMan
Summary: Five times Alex asks Willie to dance, and one time Willie says yes.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Willie & Tía Victoria
Series: It’s not Sunset Cis either [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022667
Comments: 69
Kudos: 293





	1. We’re Falling Apart to Half Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of linked to Punks Don’t Dance, but if you don’t want to read that, the only thing you really need to know is that Alex was a ballet dancer for the first 15 years of his life and after Ray found out he signed Alex and Carlos up for classes together.
> 
> Also for the post-canon scenes, they’re all still ghosts but they can be seen, heard, and touched because Julie loves them. 
> 
> Title and chapter names from “Dance, Dance” by Fall Out Boy.

One. 

Nights like this at the Hollywood Ghost Club are what Willie lives for. Well, metaphorically speaking. The music, the lights, the fashion. It’s a party big enough to make him forget everything else.

The blinding pain of his head splitting open on the pavement gets can’t be felt over the pounding of the drums. The aching loneliness that seeps in when the sun comes up and the party ends is drowned out by the wail of the guitar. And the way the bass line moves through his empty veins is almost worth the hours upon hours of cruel, grueling rehearsals Caleb puts him and the other dancers through. 

It’s definitely worth it tonight, because tonight Willie gets to share this magic with the adorable blonde drummer boy he nearly killed a second time with his skateboard. 

Caleb calls for “dessert,” and Willie takes his cue to spring up and join the other dancers. He keeps his eyes on Alex the whole time, grinning at the awestruck look on Alex’s face. Willie puts all his energy into the dance, in a way he never has before. He thinks he finally understands what dancing is _supposed_ to feel like. It’s supposed to feel like joy, like freedom, like smiling into beautiful blue eyes and having those eyes smile back. 

When the choreographed dance break ends and the floor breaks out in chaos, Willie pulls Alex up with him. All he wants is to dance with Alex, but suddenly Reggie is swooning over Marigold and the twins are heading their way and someone—Ernesto, maybe— is tugging Willie away. It all becomes too much. Willie gets lost in the lights and the music and the crowd, and all he can do is put on his meticulously rehearsed smile and go where Ernesto takes him. He ends up face-to-face with some lifers he vaguely recognizes. Caleb wants the ghosts to schmooze this couple in particular so they bring more of their rich and famous friends. 

He can’t focus on the conversation. He’s too busy trying to make sense of the blinding swirl of colors around him, looking for Alex’s grungy beat-up jacket in the sea of coattails and cocktail dresses. When he finally catches sight of Alex’s blonde mop, his heart, or whatever he has now in place of one, goes cold. 

Alex is dancing with Dante and Fuego. Dante and Fuego, who are older and stronger and way more suave than Willie could ever hope to be. Alex catches Willie’s eyes and waves him over, but Willie barely registers it over the rage rushing through his ears. He has to get out of here. 

He poofs up to his room and _screams_. He’s positive no one downstairs will hear. Not many of them would care if they did. 

_Of course_ he’s not allowed to have this one thing. _Of course_ Caleb has to take this away, too. He already has Willie’s soul, his freedom, his control over his own damn body and what he does with it. He was foolish to even think he could have one thing for himself. 

Willie screams until his throat is throbbing in pain.


	2. Tonight It Can’t Get Much Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb is furious that he lost the boys, and he takes it out on Willie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major content warning for abuse in this one. Caleb hits Willie a few times and does that thing he did to control the Phantoms in Nothing to Lose.

Two. 

“Again, William.” Caleb’s voice cracks like a whip. He’s been nastier then ever since Alex and his friends slipped from his grasp. All of the club members are bearing the brunt of it, but Willie is the sole target of Caleb’s wrath. It is his fault, after all, but if this is the price for Alex crossing over, then Willie is willing to take it. 

The other dancers were dismissed ages ago, after the eighth hour of rehearsal. Willie doesn’t know how long it’s been since then, only that his not-a-body is in so much pain he’s gone numb. 

“I can’t,” Willie pants. He didn’t think ghosts could get dehydrated, but he suspects Caleb did something to make it possible. His throat is screaming for water; and his voice sounds scratchy and foreign to his ears. 

Caleb frowns. “What was that?”

Willie chokes back a sob. “Please. I can’t do it again.” 

Caleb rams his cane into Willie’s side, and it shouldn’t be possible to feel this much pain, but he doubles over in agony. 

“I said, run it again.” 

The music starts up again, and Willie is once again overwhelmed with loathing for jazz music. He starts to dance in spite of himself. He knows the moves—at this point he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget them—but he’s so exhausted that he can’t keep up. He tries to pirouette, but he loses his balance and smashes into the floor, biting back a whine that he knows would only bring more punishment from Caleb. 

Caleb’s foot connects with Willie’s ribcage. “Unacceptable.” 

“I’m sorry,” Willie gasps, clutching at his side. “I’m sorry.” 

“Hmm,” Caleb hums, like he’s _bored_ , like he’s not getting some sort of sick pleasure from Willie’s pain. “Seems like you need a refresher on the choreography.” 

The music starts again, and suddenly Willie can’t feel any of his limbs. They start moving without his permission, hitting every move with expert precision while Willie’s mind screams that this is _wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG_. 

“No one will want to watch you with a frown like that,” Caleb snarls. He snaps his fingers and Willie’s mouth stretches into a grin. Willie can’t see it, but it feels grotesque. 

The puppet of Willie’s body hits the finishing pose, and as soon as the music ends, he collapses. 

“Go clean yourself up. You’ll be doing that again for guests in an hour.” Caleb saunters away, gesturing for Dante and Fuego to peel Willie off the floor and carry him back to his room. 

By the time the party ends and Willie finishes cleaning up—because that’s one of his duties now too— it’s nearly sunrise. He collapses onto his bed at the first moment he gets. He doesn’t even have the energy to scream anymore; he just curls into a ball and sobs, watching the sun peak over the LA horizon. He tries to drift off to sleep, but a beam of sunlight hits him directly in the eye. 

He winces, confused. The sun isn’t at the right angle to be doing that. It happens again, so he gets up and moves to the window to investigate. The sun is reflecting off something small on a rooftop across the street. The light flickers out for a second, and behind it Willie sees a pink hoodie he’d recognize anywhere. 

He poofs out to the roof immediately. He knows Caleb will sense him leaving, but he doesn’t care anymore, because Alex is standing there in front of him, and Willie’s never been more relieved or more worried to see someone in his life. There’s so much he wants to say, but the first thing that comes out is, “You didn’t cross over.” 

Alex blinks and shoves his mirror in his pocket, looking as if he didn’t actually expect Willie to come. “Yeah, um, turns out the Orpheum wasn’t our unfinished business after all.”

“But Caleb—“ 

“Julie freed us,” Alex says. “Turns out the power of love is a real thing.” 

“Oh my god.” Willie can’t contain himself anymore. He throws himself forward, wrapping his arms around Alex. “I’m so happy you’re okay.” 

Alex laughs. “Me too.” He pulls back and takes in Willie’s disheveled appearance, his puffy eyes, and the dry tear tracks on his face. “Are you okay?” 

Willie crosses his arms, rubbing a thumb over his bicep. “Can we go somewhere else? I’m gonna pay for it when Caleb finds out I left, but the farther we go the longer it’ll take him to find me.” 

“Yeah, of course,” Alex says. 

They end up on the beach, sitting a few yards away from a guitarist busking for the early morning joggers. They sit in the sand, their sides pressed up against each other. Willie knows they’ve never really defined what they are, but he decides _fuck it_ and lays his head on Alex’s shoulder. They sit in silence for a while, just taking in each other’s presence. 

“You never answered,” Alex says eventually. 

“What?” Willie asks. 

“I asked if you were okay.” 

Willie hesitates, and Alex takes his hand, giving it a little squeeze. _No more lies_ , Willie decides. 

“No,” Willie admits. “I’m not. Caleb is furious, and he’s taking it out on me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Alex says. “I should have come sooner to make sure you were okay.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Willie says, forcing himself to look Alex in the eyes. “Please don’t blame yourself.” 

Alex nods, but Willie can tell he won’t let that guilt go so easily. “I’m going to get you out of there.”

It’s a beautiful sentiment, and Willie loves how confident he sounds, but he knows it’s impossible. Caleb’s too strong. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now,” he says. “Can we just enjoy this moment? Being together again?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

They hold hands and watch the tide come in. The busker finishes his tune and shifts into “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John. Alex grins and starts swaying to the music, singing along under his breath. 

“Hey Willie?” he asks. “Do you want to dance with me?” 

Willie so badly wants the answer to be yes. He wants to dance on the beach to Elton John with this beautiful boy like a normal, unbroken kid, but his mind hears the word “dance” and kicks into panic mode.

“Um,” Willie pulls away, and he tries to ignore the hurt in Alex’s eyes. “I should get back. The longer I’m away, the worse he’ll be.” He stands and gets ready to poof away, but Alex grabs his hand before he can go. 

“Willie,” he says. “I will come back for you.” 

Willie gives him a sad smile. “I know you will, Hotdog.” 

And with that, he’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for putting Willie through all this pain, I promise things get a lot happier for him.


	3. This is the Way They’d Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After thirty-one years, Willie is finally free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor mentions of abuse in the first paragraph.

Three. 

Alex keeps his promise, but it takes a while. While the band works out their plan, Willie is stuck running the same routine day in and day out for weeks on end, taking blows from Caleb’s cane whenever he makes the smallest mistake. In the darkest hours, Willie wonders if he might just fade out of existence, and if that would be better than this. 

But the light does come, and not in the form of some elaborate plan from Julie and the boys. No, Willie’s light comes in the form of Tía Victoria, who heard about Willie’s situation, called a priest and a lawyer, and stormed the Hollywood Ghost Club. The lawyer sets to work voiding Caleb’s ownership of everyone’s souls, while the priest performs an exorcism. Victoria supervises the whole thing, hands on her hips like an angel of vengeance. Willie watches from the balcony, too afraid too get any closer, but unable to look away from the man who controlled him for so long disappearing from existence. 

Caleb locks eyes with Willie right before he goes, and Willie’s never been so scared in his existence. But then Caleb is gone, and Willie is _free._

His mind refuses to comprehend it. After thirty-one years, he’s finally _free_. He can go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone he wants. Including Alex. Especially Alex. He’s _free_. 

“You must be Willie.”

Willie looks up and finds Victoria’s kind face smiling down at him. He nods, too stunned to form words.

“I’m Tía Victoria,” she says, offering him a hand and helping him up. “Come on, mijo, let’s get you home.” 

Willie lets her lead him away, but he stalls at the front doors. “My skateboard,” he whispers. 

“Come again?” 

Willie clears his throat and speaks a little louder. “My skateboard is in Caleb’s office.” He winces at how vulnerable his voice sounds. “He— he took it away from me. Please, I can’t leave without it.” 

Victoria scans Willie’s face and sees how terrified this poor boy is, how desperate he must be for something familiar. “Okay, honey, I’ll go get it. You just sit here and rest, okay?” 

Willie nods and slides down to sit on the floor. When Victoria returns a few minutes later with his board, he clutches it to his chest and doesn’t let go until they reach the Molinas’ house. 

As soon as they’re through the door, Willie falls into Alex’s arms and sobs. Alex holds him tight and strokes his hair, whispering reassurances and pressing kisses to the top of his head. 

That’s pretty much all that happens for the first week. Willie sleeps in Alex’s arms for most of the day, and when he wakes, he cries. Ray comes in once in a while to check on him and bring food, and he forces himself to eat. In the better moments, the rest of the band joins the cuddle puddle, but for the most part, it’s just him and Alex. Willie never wants to let go. 

Willie has no idea what day or time it is when he wakes up, but Alex is smiling down at him, and for the first time since his escape, he doesn’t cry. 

“Hey,” Alex whispers. 

“Hey,” Willie whispers back. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Willie shrugs. “Like my entire afterlife has been turned upside down.” 

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Alex chuckles.

Willie nods and starts fidgeting with the drawstrings on Alex’s hoodie. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Alex asks. 

Willie hesitates, but he forces himself to look up at Alex. “How I never want to lose you again.” He takes a deep breath, which he knows he doesn’t need, but it’s comforting anyways. “Alex, I love you.” 

Alex’s grin widens. “I love you too.” He thinks for a moment. “Do you—I mean, not now, because obviously you’re still dealing with stuff, but when you’re better, do you want to go on an actual date with me?”

Willie smiles up at him. “I’d love to.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It takes a few weeks for Willie to get back on his feet. When he’s finally well enough to move around and join the family inside for dinners, Ray decides that the first order of business should be retrieving Willie’s things from the hotel and moving him into Victoria’s spare room. 

“I’d let you stay in the garage,” Ray says, “but this house is already overflowing with dead teenagers.” 

Willie doesn’t love that he won’t get to stay with Alex, but he understands. Ray’s already dealing with three new kids, and Victoria’s house is only a five minute walk away, so it could be worse. 

He refuses to go back to the hotel, though. He never wants to think about it again, let alone step foot in it. Alex, Luke, and Reggie are understandably squeamish about going back there as well, so he sends the Molinas with strict instructions to only take the important things. There’s not much Willie cares about other than his clothes— _his_ clothes, not the formalwear Caleb gave him— his record collection, and the single Polaroid of him and his cousin that was in his pocket when he died. 

Alex helps him unpack his few belongings in his new room. “I’m jealous,” he says. “Me and the guys are sharing a pullout in a garage and you get a bedroom all to yourself.” 

Willie shrugs. “Sometimes a room to yourself can be lonely.” He notices the sorrow in Alex’s eyes when he says this, so he tries to lighten the mood. “But hey, at least we’ll have somewhere private.” He leans over and gives Alex a quick kiss. Alex turns bright red and starts stammering, and Willie smirks. 

Alex clears his throat and turns to the box of records he’s holding. “We need some background music. Which one’s your favorite?” 

“The Black Parade,” Willie answers immediately, “but I think it’s too dark for the moment, so Arrival.”

Alex snorts. “Of course it’s ABBA, you dork.” 

“You don’t get to say shit about my music taste, bro. I know how much you love bubblegum pop.”

“That’s beside the point.” Alex takes Arrival out of its sleeve and gently places it on the shiny new record player. (A gift from Victoria, as if she hasn’t already given him the greatest gift of all.) 

It shouldn’t take long to unpack his meager belongings, but they draw it out, Alex pondering out loud where their first date should be. Willie listens to him with a grin, obsessed with how adorably perfectionist he is. 

“When I Kissed the Teacher” comes to an end, and “Dancing Queen” quickly follows. Alex starts humming along to it. 

“Okay,” he admits, “maybe ABBA isn’t all that bad.” 

Willie tries to make a witty comeback, but the words get lodged in his throat. _Caleb’s gone,_ he reminds himself. _He’s gone and no one can force you to dance._

Alex doesn’t seem to notice. He does a stupid little dance over to Willie and wraps his arms around his waist. Normally, he savors this feeling, but in this moment his whole body tenses. Alex starts swaying in time to the music, trying to get Willie to join in. 

“Alex,” Willie whispers, squeezing his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to face the disappointment in his boyfriend’s eyes. “Please don’t.” 

He feels Alex pull away. “Okay.” His voice is soft, but Willie can hear a hint of pain beneath the surface. “Did I do something wrong?” 

Willie shakes his head and sits down on the bed. “It’s not your fault. I just...” he trails off. He wants so badly to tell Alex everything, about all the suffering Caleb put him through, but he can’t find the words. He thinks if he tries, he’ll have a panic attack, and this is supposed to be a happy day. “I just don’t want to dance right now,” he says, the excuse sounding pathetic to his own ears. 

Alex joins him and intertwines their fingers. “That’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

_Yes,_ Willie thinks, but he shakes his head. “Can we just chill for a while? Maybe go for a walk on the beach?” 

“Yeah,” Alex says. “This isn’t a date though, okay? Because our first date has to be perfect, and I’ve got big plans.” 

Willie laughs and squeezes Alex’s hand. “Any time spent with you is perfect, Hotdog.” 

Alex kisses him, and Willie kisses back. They fall backwards onto the bed, all thoughts of going to the beach forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look me in the eyes and tell me Tía Victoria wouldn’t overhear Alex crying to Julie about his boyfriend and immediately march down to the Hollywood Ghost Club to kick Caleb’s ass.


	4. These Are the Lives You Love to Lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willie has a panic attack at a concert, and Alex and Tía Victoria are there to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: pretty lengthy and graphic panic attack, mentions/descriptions of Caleb’s abuse.

Four. 

There’s nothing Willie loves more than watching Alex drum. Well, there’s nothing Willie loves more than Alex, but watching him drum is a close second. 

He has a front row view at the band’s concert tonight, sandwiched in between Ray and Tía at the barricade. Alex’s eyes have been locked on him the whole show, only looking away when one of his bandmates catch his attention, but as soon as they move on his eyes are back on Willie. 

Two months ago, Willie would have never believed he could ever be this happy. 

Normally after their set, the band would watch the rest of the concert backstage with Flynn, and Willie would go back to join them. However, tonight they were opening for Walk the Moon, who happens to be one of Julie’s favorite bands. While the roadies set up the instruments, Julie, Flynn, and the boys join them at the barricade. Willie pulls Alex into a kiss as soon as he’s within reach. 

“Hi,” Alex breathes when they pull apart. 

“That was so good, man,” Willie grins.

Alex blushes. “Well, I don’t know, I was a little too fast on ‘Stand Tall…’”

Willie punches his arm lightly. “Come on, Hotdog. You killed it.” 

“Yeah, I did,” Alex laughs. He kisses Willie again, and Willie’s chest feels like it’s about to burst. 

Walk the Moon takes the stage, and the audience’s cheers bring Willie and Alex back to reality. They lean up against the barrier together, hand in hand, and watch Nicholas Petricca work the crowd. Willie doesn’t know most of their songs, but the way Julie screams in joy each time a new one starts is enough for him. 

Towards the end of the set, they start one Willie does recognize, if only because it hasn’t stopped playing on the radio since 2014. 

“ _Oh don’t you dare look back,  
Just keep your eyes on me._”

Julie must have played this one for Alex, because he sings along, turning to Willie with a grin. 

“ _I think you’re holding back,  
She said shut up and dance with me._”

Willie lets himself bounce a bit, not nearly enthusiastic as Alex’s jumping. _This is fine,_ Willie thinks. _This isn’t a party. It’s a concert. People dance at concerts. It’s_ fine.

He’s been to dozens of concerts before, in life and death. He _likes_ concerts. He’s here with his family, and his boyfriend, and he’s safe. He can handle this. 

Except there’s a wall of strangers pressed against his back, their bodies jostling him around to their rhythm, not his. Willie does his best to block them out, but Alex grabs his hand and spins him, and then he’s facing a sea of dancing people he doesn’t know. 

Suddenly, Willie is back at the Hollywood Ghost Club, the crowd of concert goers morphing into brightly colored ghosts and monotoned lifers. Walk the Moon dissolves into the house band playing that stupid jazz piece that Willie will never get out of his head. And when he turns to look for Alex, he comes face-to-face with Caleb. 

Willie gasps and stumbles backward. He trips over someone behind him, and feels someone else grab his arm. He thinks he hears Alex call his name, but he can’t find him, can’t tell what’s real and what’s imagined. All he knows is his entire being is screaming _danger_. 

He poofs away. He doesn’t know where he’s going, and a small voice at the back of his head realizes that he just disappeared into thin air in front of a bunch of lifers, but he doesn’t care. 

He collapses against a wall, vaguely aware that he’s outside somewhere. He curls in on himself and gasps for air. He knows, he _knows_ that he doesn’t need to breathe, but his body doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo. 

All he can hear is that stupid jazz music, the thud of Caleb’s cane smashing into his ribs, his voice snarling, “Again, William.” 

Willie digs his nails into his biceps, desperate for any sort of sensation to ground him. But the ache of Caleb’s favorite spot to hit him drowns out all other feelings. 

He sobs, shaking so hard he’s scared he’ll fall apart. _DANGER,_ his brain screams, _DANGER DANGER DANGER CALEB DANGER_.

He tries to scream. It’s the only way he knows how to release all this energy, but the sound is strangled by his stupid hyperventilating lungs that he wasn’t even sure still functioned. 

“Willie?” 

For one beautiful moment, Alex’s voice cuts through all the noise in Willie’s head, but it’s quickly lost in Caleb’s constant critiques, the “Again, William,” and the “Not good enough, William,” and the “You’re worthless, William.” 

“Willie, it’s Alex.”

Willie tries to make his brain latch onto this. _Alex. Alex is safe. Safe safe safe._

“Alex,” Willie gasps out, and Alex shushes him. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk. Can I touch your hand?” 

Willie curls in on himself even further, shaking his head so hard he hits it against the wall. 

“That’s okay, I don’t have to.” Alex’s voice is soft and calm, and Willie tries to fixate on it. “I’m gonna count to eight, okay? Breathe in on the first eight, and out on the second. Got it?”

Willie nods, and Alex starts counting. “One, two...”

Willie tries to take a deep breath, but it’s interrupted by his sobs. 

“Keep going,” Alex says, “three, four...”

Willie tries again. It’s a little easier this time. 

But then he’s not hearing Alex anymore. He’s hearing Caleb counting him into a routine. “Five, six, seven, eight.” 

_Again, William. Five, six, seven, eight. Again._

Willie starts hyperventilating worse than before.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Alex says. 

“Not eight,” Willie manages to spit out. “Don’t count to eight.” 

“Is five okay?” Alex asks, and Willie nods. “Okay. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five.” 

It’s easier this time. Willie focuses on Alex’s voice, and slowly but surely, his breathing starts to even out. He finally opens his eyes and sees Alex’s worried blue eyes in front of him.

Alex smiles. “Hey,” he whispers. 

“Hi,” Willie says. He holds out a hand for Alex to take, which he does immediately. 

Alex wipes a tear from Willie’s cheek. “Better?” he asks, and if Willie didn’t feel so bone-tired he would find this reversal of their usual roles amusing. 

“Better,” Willie says. He hears feet shuffling and glances up to see Ray and Tía Victoria watching from a few yards away. He becomes suddenly aware that he landed in the alley behind the club. 

“We came in case you needed us,” Ray says, looking a little embarrassed at having witnessed such a vulnerable moment, “but Alex is the expert in handling these things.”

“That’s never happened to me before,” Willie admits. He looks at Alex with a newfound respect for his bravery in dealing with these regularly. “It was terrifying.” 

Alex presses a kiss to the back of his hand as a response. 

Tía steps forward. “Can we hug you, mijo?” 

Willie nods, and suddenly the Molinas are upon him. He leans into them, their presence reminding him that he’s _safe_. 

“What happened, querido?” Tía asks. 

Willie swallows a few times, trying to find the words. “The crowd, it— it was too much. I got overwhelmed, and then I thought I was...” He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and Alex squeezes his hand tighter. “I thought I was back at the club. With—with Caleb.” 

“Oh, mijo,” Ray mutters, and Willie can feel Alex’s quiet rage towards Caleb radiating off of him. 

“You’re safe now,” Tía says, taking his chin in her hand. Willie can’t help but think of all the times Caleb used the same gesture on him, but it couldn’t feel more different. With Caleb, it was cold and calculating, like a puppet maker examining his product. When Tía does it, it feels like love, like she’s really seeing him. “He can’t get to you anymore.”

“I know,” Willie says, and he feels tears pooling up in his eyes because it frustrates him just how much he knows this, and yet he still feels this fear. “But he owned my soul for thirty-one years. That’s not the kind of control you can just shake off after a few months.” 

“I know how you feel,” Alex says. “Well, sort of. Sometimes I think I see my dad, and it sets off a panic attack. It’s been twenty-five years, and he still has that power over me. You’re allowed as much time as you need to take that power back.” 

Willie buries his head in Alex’s chest. “I’m sorry I ruined the concert.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Alex says. He leans in like he’s about to tell Willie a secret. “I don’t actually like Walk the Moon that much. Don’t tell Julie.”

This gets a giggle out of Willie, and he feels Alex relax a bit at the sound. 

Willie looks up at Tía. “Can we go home?” 

“Of course, mijo.” She turns to Ray, “I’ll take him, you stay here with the kids.” 

Ray nods and Tía offers Willie and Alex help standing up. Once Willie’s on his feet, Tía pulls him into a tight hug. 

Alex rubs Willie’s arm. “I have to stay to help break down my set,” he says, “but if you want me to come with you I can ask Luke to do it.” 

“It’s okay,” Willie says, putting his hand over Alex’s. “I‘ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

When they get home, Tía wraps Willie and a blanket and sends him to get ready for bed. Once he’s showered and changed, she knocks on the door with two bowls of ice cream. 

“I thought some sugar might help you feel better,” she says. She hands Willie one of the bowls and sits next to him on the bed, both of them leaning up against the headboard. “It’s chocolate chip cookie dough.”

“My favorite,” Willie grins. He takes a bite, savoring not only the flavor, but the feeling of being cared for. Sure, Caleb played the role of doting caretaker in the early days, when he was trying to convince Willie to stay, but he hasn’t felt this properly loved since before he died. Even then, he was always a bit wary around adults, including his own parents. But he feels safe around Tía, one hundred percent. 

“Tía?” he asks, his voice shaking a bit. “Can I tell you something?” 

“Always.” She sits up to give him her full attention. 

“The panic attack, it wasn’t just the crowd that caused it.” Willie takes a deep breath. “Alex keeps asking me to dance, and I want to say yes, because I know dancing is like, one of the most important things in the world to him. But I can’t. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to dance again.” 

Tía puts a hand on his arm and squeezes, waiting for him to continue at his own pace. 

“I was a dancer at the club. I was really good, too. Like, I was usually featured during performances. And I loved it, at first. I really did. But after Alex and the guys escaped...” He hesitates. He’s never said this part out loud, and a large part of his brain is screaming that he never should. But he trusts Tía, so he tells her, “Caleb used dance as a punishment. He made me rehearse for 20 hours a day with no breaks, and he would hit me when I got things wrong, and... and he would control me, when I ran out of energy. Like a fucking puppet.”

Tears stream down his face, and Tía wipes them away before wiping away some of her own. “Willie,” she says, wrapping her arms around him. “I’m so sorry he did that to you. If I could I’d exorcise him a second time for what he did.”

Willie chokes out a laugh. “I know.”

“You know you can always talk to me and Ray about this, if you want, but do you think it might help to see a therapist?”

Willie laughs at the thought. “Somehow I don’t think saying ‘I sold my soul to an evil magician ghost and was forced to dance at his undead club for thirty-one years’ will get me the diagnosis I need.”

Tía tsks at him. “Well, obviously you’d need to fudge some details, like the magic bits and how long it was, but it might help to talk about the abuse.” 

“I’ll think about it.” He pauses. “Please don’t tell Alex about the dancing part. I don’t want him to know yet.”

“I won’t,” Tia says, “but I think you should soon. You’re allowed to never want to dance again, but if he doesn’t know that—if he doesn’t know _why_ — he’s just going to keep asking you. And you’ll keep panicking, and he’ll keep being hurt you don’t want to dance with him. I promise you, he’ll be willing to work this out. You just need to be honest with him.” 

Willie nods. “Okay,” he whispers. 

Tía kisses him on the forehead and grabs the remote. “Now, what’s your favorite movie? I think we need a pick me up.” 

Willie smiles and leans into Tía, resting his head on her shoulder. “ _Back to the Future_.”

“Of course it is, my little McFly.” She finds the movie on Netflix and presses play. 

They watch in silence for a while, Willie’s eyes drooping from the exhaustion of the night. 

“Hey Tía?” he yawns. “Thank you. For everything.” 

Tía places a kiss on his forehead, and he drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry, Willie. I really didn’t mean for this chapter to get so dark but it just kinda happened. I promise things get a lot better soon. I’m pretty sure this is the low point.


	5. If They Knew the Way Misery Loved Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex asks Willie to come watch his dance class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: references to Caleb’s abuse, nothing graphic this time.

Five. 

“Carlos, stop pouting,” Ray sighs from the driver seat. 

Carlos, in the passenger seat, crosses his arms and pouts harder. “I’m not pouting.” 

Willie reaches around the seat to ruffle Carlos’s hair. “Sorry for stealing your brother, little dude. It’s just for today.” 

Carlos swats him away. “But why today? Alex always takes me to get ice cream after dance. It’s sacred.”

Alex laughs. “We can all get ice cream together.” 

“Yeah, I really want to third wheel on my brother’s date,” Carlos says with an eye roll he definitely picked up from Julie. “That’s how I’ve been dreaming of spending my Saturday.” 

“It’s not a date,” Alex and Willie say together, fist bumping at how in unison they are. 

“Alex is still planning our perfect first official date,” Willie adds. “And I don’t think watching my boyfriend’s dance class counts.”

Willie hasn’t talked to Alex about the dance thing yet. He keeps trying to find the right time, but he never wants to drag down the mood. And then, Alex asked him to come watch one of his classes, citing the fact that everyone else in the class has brought their significant other at some point. 

“Please,” Alex had begged. “Some of them are starting to think you don’t exist.” 

“Technically, I don’t,” Willie pointed out, but Alex hit him with the Luke-Patterson-Approved puppy dog eyes, and Willie caved. 

He keeps telling himself that he’ll be fine. He’s just watching. He watches Alex practice all the time. He can handle it. 

Ray drops them off outside the studio, and Carlos’s grumpiness is forgotten as soon as he catches sight of his friends. Alex takes Willie’s hand and pulls him inside, not seeming to notice the way Willie clings to him like a life preserver. They go into Studio B, where the advanced classes meet, and there’s about ten other people their age milling about in addition to a severe-looking woman in her mid-40s at the front of the room. 

Carrie Wilson is the first to notice their entrance. “Oh, so Willie does exist,” she snarks. 

Alex flips her off. “You’ve met him, Carrie.” Ever since the various members of the Molina household made peace with the Wilsons, Alex had been attending Dirty Candi rehearsals. He’d become good friends with Carrie, but the kind of friends who would never admit they actually like each other. It’s a snarky side of Alex Willie rarely gets to see. 

“Alexander,” the older woman snaps, “that’s improper.” 

Alex lowers his finger. “Sorry, Madame.” He pushes Willie towards her. “Willie, this is Madame Levine. Madame, this is my boyfriend, Willie.” 

Madame extends a graceful hand and Willie shakes it. “Nice to meet you, William,” she says. 

Willie tenses. “It’s, uh, it’s just Willie.” 

Madame hums, and Willie can feel the disapproval laced in it. He pulls back and grabs Alex’s hand. 

_She’s not Caleb,_ he reminds himself. _Caleb’s not here. He’s gone, he can’t hurt me. She’s just a mean old lady and mean old ladies are not Caleb._

“Well, Willie,” Madame says, the distaste for the nickname evident, “please put your hair up in a bun. It’s studio policy.” 

Willie nods and slips a hair tie off his wrist. Alex shoots him an apologetic smile and tugs him away towards the benches at the side of the room. 

“Sorry,” Alex says, using Willie’s shoulder as support to pull off his sweatpants and reveal the tights underneath. “She’s kind of a hardass.” 

“Yeah,” Willie chuckles as he ties off his hair, only a little distracted by Alex’s legs. Unlike the rest of the class, Alex gets to keep his sweater on, a special exemption granted to him since he can’t bind while dancing. Willie has to admit, it’s a good look. 

_Focus on that,_ he thinks. _Focus on your hot boyfriend and his hot tights._

“Line up, please,” Madame barks from the front of the room. 

Alex gives Willie a quick kiss on the temple and jogs to his spot on the floor. Willie settles himself on one of the benches, gripping the edge of it a little too tightly. _Just focus on Alex._

“Willie.” Madame’s voice breaks that focus. “We ask that guests join us for at least the warm up.” 

“I don’t dance,” Willie blurts out, immediately wincing at the lie he knows Alex will pick up on. 

“Bro, you’re an amazing dancer,” Alex says. “I’ve seen you.”

“Yeah, at the club,” Willie says, trying to keep his voice low so only Alex can hear it. 

Alex’s mouth falls into a little “oh.” Before he can say anything, however, Madame tsks behind him. 

“Well, if you’re not going to participate, I’m going to have to ask you to wait outside.” 

Willie glances at Alex, who looks back with pleading eyes. Willie knows he should stay, should just suck it up and to the stretches or whatever, because it’s important to Alex. But all he can think about is the ungodly hours of rehearsal, the way Caleb made him run everything a million times a day until his body gave out and Caleb could use him as a puppet. 

“I’m sorry,” Willie whispers, and he leaves the room. 

“Willie,” Alex calls after him. He moves to follow. 

“Alexander, you don’t get to skip warmup either,” Madame says. 

“Can you just give me a minute?” Alex doesn’t wait for an answer. 

Willie’s already out the main doors when Alex appears by his side. 

“I’m sorry,” Willie says immediately. “Please don’t miss your class because of me. I’ll just skate around or something until it’s over.” 

Alex grabs Willie’s arm to stop him from moving. Willie flinches, and Alex immediately pulls away. 

“Hey,” Alex says softly. “You don’t have to apologize. But talk to me, okay? You’re clearly upset and I just want to know what’s going on.” 

Willie takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay,” he says. “Can we go somewhere more private?” he asks, glancing around at the lifers milling on the street. He’s used to being seen by them, for the most part, but in moments like this it just feels too vulnerable. 

Alex nods and poofs them to the roof of the studio. He sits down on the ledge and Willie joins him. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” Alex says. “Can I hold your hand?” 

Willie nods, and Alex laces their fingers together. 

It takes Willie a moment to figure out where to start. “I know you love dancing,” Willie says. “I want to love it too, so badly, because I know how important it is to you, and you’ve been so good about learning to skate for me even though you’re not into it, and I want to do that for you too. But I can’t.” He looks into Alex’s eyes and squeezes his hand a little tighter. “I want you to understand that when I say no to dancing with you, it’s not because I don’t love you. I love you so, so much. I just...”

And he tells Alex everything. He starts with how he joined the club, how dancing at parties seemed like a small price to pay for an eternity of free food, housing, and community with ghosts like him. He tells him how Caleb got more cruel and controlling over the years as his obsession with power grew. He tells him about the abuse that started years before Alex and his friends escaped and how it got so much worse after. 

When he finishes, they’re both crying, but Willie feels like a weight has been lifted. He’s finally told the whole truth. 

Alex pulls him into a tight hug, and Willie latches onto him. 

“I’m so sorry,” Alex says through his tears. “I’m so sorry he did that to you, and that I made it worse, and that I kept pushing you after. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Willie says. “You didn’t know.” 

“I still shouldn’t have pushed,” Alex says. “I remember the way it felt when he controlled us.” Alex shudders. “If I were you, I’d never want to dance again. And it’s okay if you don’t. I love dancing, but I don’t ask you to because I want to dance. I do it because I want to be with _you_. There’s a million other things we can do together.”

“But I know how important this is to you,” Willie said. 

“Yeah,” Alex shrugs, “but so is drumming, and you come to every one of my gigs even though the crowds bother you.” A piece of hair has fallen out of Willie’s bun, and Alex tucks it behind his ear. “You show me every day how much you love me, in a million little ways. You don’t need to do anything like that for me, especially if it hurts you.” 

Willie nods. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too,” Alex says, leaning in to kiss him. 

Willie pulls away and runs a hand down Alex’s arm. “I don’t think I can go back in there. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I get it. Do you want me to play hooky? There’s a museum down the street we can go scream in.”

Willie laughs. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want you to get in any more trouble. There’s a skate park nearby, I’ll go hang out there ’til class is over.”

“Are you sure?” Alex asks. 

“I’m sure.” Willie summons his skateboard, and it lands gently in his lap. “It’ll be good to clear my head. Go have fun.”

“Okay,” Alex stands. “Ice cream is my treat later.”

“Oh, I was gonna make you buy anyways,” Willie smirks. He gives Alex a light punch on the arm and poofs away to go skate. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

When Willie gets home later, Tía is dancing around the kitchen making dinner. 

“Hola niño,” she calls when she hears the door closes.

“Smells great,” Willie says, sliding onto one of the stools at the counter.

“How was it?” Tía asks it casually, but Willie can hear the worry in her voice. 

“Um, okay,” Willie says, pulling his hair tie out of his bun and fidgeting with it. “Apparently I was expected to dance, which I didn’t handle well. But I talked to Alex about it.” 

“How did he react?”

Willie smiles. “Really well.” 

Tía grins. “I told you he would.” 

“He’s the best,” Willie agrees. “So, I’ve been thinking, and I think I do want to see a therapist.”

“I think that’s the right move,” Tía nods. “We can look for one tonight, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now you know you can’t just sit around here. If you want to eat this, you have to help me with it.”

Willie giggles and stands to grab the apron Tía gave him about a week after he moved in. It’s tie-dye, of course, with little skateboards drawn all over it. Apparently Julie and Flynn helped her make it, and when Willie wears it, it feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people are just meant to be cool aunts, and Tía Victoria is one of those people.


	6. Dance, Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie and the Phantoms play another school dance, and Willie has a surprise for Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No content warnings in this one! Pure fluff, we’ve earned it.

One. 

Willie stands in front of the gymnasium doors and takes a deep breath, listening to the muffled music of Julie and the Phantoms coming from inside. 

Alex doesn’t know he’s here. When Flynn informed them that they’d be playing another school dance, Alex immediately assured Willie that he didn’t have to come. They settled on a plan where Alex would leave after their set, and then he’d come over to Tía’s and they’d watch movies together. 

It was a really good plan, but Willie wanted to surprise Alex, so he scheduled three extra therapy appointments and asked Tía to take him shopping for a new suit.

He thought he’d be more nervous when the time came, but he’s honestly okay. He’s been making good progress in therapy, and the promise of surprising Alex with a wonderful and meaningful night far outweighs the threats in his mind. Plus, Alex has been putting so much pressure on himself to plan the perfect first date that Willie decided to put him out of his misery. 

He waits outside the door until he hears the band start “Stand Tall”, which they always use to close their sets. One more deep breath, and then he pushes open the doors. The crowd of students heightens his anxiety a bit, but he keeps his eyes fixed on the stage at the front of the room. On Alex. 

He’s about three-quarters of the way to the stage when Alex spots him. At first the drummer frowns, as if he’s not sure he’s actually seeing who he thinks he is. Then Willie gives him a small wave and a smile erupts on Alex’s face. He puts a little extra energy into his drumming, and Willie is honestly shocked all the students around him can be dancing when this spectacle is happening on stage. Willie can’t tear his eyes away. 

The band hits the final chord of “Stand Tall” and the students cheer. 

“Thank you, we’re Julie and the Phantoms,” Julie says. 

“Tell your friends,” Reggie adds with a wink. 

Flynn takes the stage back to DJ the rest of the dance and suddenly Alex is sliding off the front of the stage and wrapping his arms around Willie. 

“Hey, Hotdog,” Willie laughs. 

“What are you doing here?” Alex asks. 

Willie pulls back and gestures to the scene around him. “I came to see if you’d be my date to this lovely school dance.” 

Alex beams, but then something crosses his mind and his smile slips a little. Willie knows that look well enough to know he’s had some anxiety-provoking thought. 

“What’re you thinking?” Willie asks. 

“This is a date,” Alex groans. “We can’t say this isn’t a date.”

“Do you not want it to be?” 

“No, I do!” Alex grabs Willie’s hands. “I just—“ he lets out a frustrated little huff. “I had a plan, it was just supposed to be a surprise. There’s this Warhol exhibit opening at the museum next week. They’re showing the Marilyn prints; I was going to take you after hours to see it.”

Willie presses his forehead to Alex’s. “That sounds perfect. But you know what else was perfect?” 

“What?”

“When I ran you over with my skateboard. When we screamed in a museum together. When you took me out for ice cream with Carlos. All the times we’ve gone to the beach and the skatepark and concerts and movies.” Willie puts a hand on Alex’s cheek and runs his thumb along his cheekbone. “I told you a long time ago, Alex. Any time spent with you is perfect. I don’t need a perfect first date to prove it when I’ve been in love with you for so long.” 

Alex places a hand over Willie’s on his cheek. “I love you too. I wanted everything to be perfect because we got off to such a rough start, but—“ he looks around at the beautifully decorated gym, at his friends dancing with each other across the room. “This is pretty perfect.” 

“So,” Willie grins. “Will you be my date?”

“Yes,” Alex laughs. “Absolutely yes.” He pulls Willie into a kiss. 

Willie pulls away and raises an eyebrow at Alex. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Aren’t you going to ask me to dance?” 

Alex frowns. “Are you sure?” 

Willie looks into Alex’s beautiful blue eyes and know he’s never been more sure of anything in his afterlife. “I’m sure.” 

Alex searches Willie’s eyes for any sign of hesitance, but when he finds none, he smiles. “Well, then. Can I have this dance?” 

“You can.” Willie grabs Alex’s hand and pulls him out onto the dance floor. 

Willie slips his arms around Alex’s neck, and Alex’s find their place around Willie’s waist. Alex pulls him close, swaying in time to the music. Willie lays his head on Alex’s shoulder, and he’s never felt safer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be one of the longest fics I’ve ever written, and damn am I proud of it. Thanks for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m wr0temyway0ut on tumblr if you wanna come talk about these ghosties or send me prompts


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